Fall apart

Well, here I am again. People who read my blog actually gave me superior encouragement to blog frequently.

Result is out and it showed that I did not do well. I did not cry this time because I have gone through once which was last year. Am I getting stronger? or I do not care anymore? There is mixed feeling but I chose to smile to the desktop screen while I opened up the result in the office. I forgot about it when I was talking to my friend but I know, I still do concern about it.

The next day, I open up the site again because I don't believe what it has shown there. When I opened it up again, my heart tared, somewhat I know, I really really really afraid but I still chose not to.

The good thing is I enjoyed second semester and I even enjoyed exam. I did feel stress at a certain point but I feel somehow good while taking the exam in the exam hall. I really glad that I sunk myself into this atmosphere, maybe is because I don't have the burden anymore.

I don't know what my parents will react this time but I really wish to ask my parents if I have the chance or daring enough, "Do you proud of having her as your daughter?" This question actually hunt me for days because I have not much thing to feel proud of myself. I do feel confident sometimes but I guess I have been living in the competitive environment and I couldn't get myself out of it.

But I do believe I will get rid of it,someday.

Thank you for reading once again, no worries, I am not weak as you think, will get back stronger.

Off to sleep :)

Love,Sarah♥