get up

"Someone told me, in the football pitch, you cannot predict what is going to happen because the ball is round, it can change direction anytime. It's like describing the world, the globe is round and has no end, things are not under your control."

able to spot the difference? *wink*

I apologize that I'd been posting those emo emo stuff but I'm alright people. I'm so blessed to see how people concerned and worried about me. But, thank you! you know who you are. :)

There're many times for me to chose to get myself out from this world without any stress but I chose not to because I believe God has more plan for me and I'm born with something and I have to accomplish something. I've been encountering many problems nowadays but with God's strength, I believe, I can go through everything, the clock's ticking, the date on the calendar is marked cross day by day, things will come and definitely will go without any red light blinking.

My piano exam is coming, honestly, I've thought about I'm not going to show up on that day. If I do so, I'm not eligible to say I'm failed because I don't even willing to try out or step out the single step. Am I right? Whatever it is, I told myself, just go and give a try, the world will not end. Take it easy and who knows, something unexpected will happens. =) God bless.

Okay, lets don't talk about some E.M.O. stuff again! haha.

This is just what I was randomly thinking just now alone in the car.

How I wish my boyfriend can stay with me all the time, sitting on the driver seat and drive me around no matter where as long as he's always there. I wish we can watch some musical performances which I like and I'll watch his favourite football game with him. How great if we can dine in somewhere at the mountain and enjoy the night scenery. Perhaps we can do some bakery together, add a lot of sugar to show how sweet we are, mix some yogurts in it or some ice cream. ♥ don't you think this is too cute? 


Good night people. have a great day ahead!

Love,Sarah♥

Ghost rider

How I wish I am a ghost rider.
I am given the power to look through evil's eyes and,
kill them silently under their fear and guiltiness.

How I wish I am a ghost rider.
the bike can lead me to someone who is bad,
appear in front of them and ask them to say sorry to the world.

How I wish I am a ghost rider.
kill someone without further thinking,
put them into the dark hell and feel the pain.

How I wish I am a ghost rider.
when one look through my eyes,
they know how sinful they are.

If you never want to fear of me or die on my hand,
please be true to yourself and to the world.


Written,
Ghost rider.

i know

God, I know you're with me right now :'( I always know there's one more chance and I will pick up myself to another stronger stage. I knowwww.... I know I'm not as weak as what I think :'( I know...

Untitled..

Am in depressing situation now. I really don't know what I can do. I feel so sorry for you guys and disappoint you guys again when I'm down. Sorry.

I'm just so stress, for piano exam which is one month later, for my result because dad keep asking about it, being a useless person at home. Everyday, I just sleep until afternoon, woke up and eat then watch TV and take a nap again, woke up in the evening and TV then dinner or fetch brothers to tuition, surfing internet after some TV until midnight. My daily routine is just this, can you imagine? It's just so shameful to tell people I'm just staying at home and doing nothing!!! :(

Some of you might know which I started to write some "3 things you feel grateful for the day". Since two days ago, I've stop writing about that because I don't know what I'm so grateful about, there's nothing for me to feel grateful.

Alright, I should stop writing now. Time to sleep. Hope through sleeping, could give me peace.

Good night.


Love,Sarah♥

Block you!

i know i grow rounder :(

Honestly, been emo this few days. Staying at home and totally lifeless. Being a driver at home, keep fetching my brothers up and down all the time, everyday. This shouldn't be how I live for summer break, I believe.

I've spoken to my mom about the voluntary work which I found in website and the organizer had reply me but my mom refuse me to go. She confessed that the location is not good because it's in Chow Kit where it's kind of complicated places. From what I always heard from people, there's a place with pubs, clubs, prostitutes and I've not been there personally so I don't know. But what I know is, it's so kind of the organizer to reply my email. He can choose not to.

Opportunities are always present infront of you, I always think that I am the one who's keep catching it blindly but no one actually pushing me to get it or cheer besides me except you, you know who you are. God, are you there? or you have another plan for me? Yes, I always have faith on there's always some reason for something to happen or not to happen. I'll give the faith again for this time.

Sometimes, I just hate adults, they're the one who keep telling us how cruel is the real world, they rarely give us hope. Children are born to be innocent and dream big but there's always destroyer.

I really I can do something in this world, someone keep telling me to fight for my dream but I have no courage to do that, so sorry to say. This is how the environment raised me up, I have no rights to say no if I don't like something.

Since young, my dad has planned for me everything! People asked me some questions, I will just say "my dad said..... my dad said... " I'm wondering is it shameful or should I feel proud. Somebody please tell me. Alright, you might tell me my parents love me, but I have my own dream and I think because they still have the typical thinking.

It's so funny, I asked my dad and mom once what's your biggest thing or the most important stuff for you to accomplish in your life. You know what they told me? To have next generation, which means you must continue your generation with your gene. Oh gooood, I totally have no comment for it. It might be true but for me, it's not all about!

And here, I've read true this articles. It's interesting though yet saddening because seeing people going to the path which is not their favor. *articles full with pictures.
"Not Where They Hoped They'd Be"
http://www.theatlantic.com/infocus/2012/06/not-where-they-hoped-theyd-be/100320/

Another one is about Women, why there's women who has no courage to be the top and here are the reasons. I really think that women please don't look down on yourself, you know that you can do more than you think. In fact, women can do better in multitasking then men. :)
"The Real Reason There Aren't More Women on Boards:"
http://www.forbes.com/sites/shenegotiates/2012/06/04/the-real-reason-there-arent-more-women-on-boards/

So ya, that's all for today. Thank you for reading my dear readers :) Sleep well.

Love,Sarah♥

3 things

hello there! how's life treating you? I'm fine but not good in sometimes and so sorry for random at most of the time. oh ya, I'm back from japan yesterday! :) It was great but frankly speaking, go once to Japan is enough, not more than that but it's still worth it to pay Japan a visit. Will tell you the details in the Japan entry ya. So stay tuned. :)

So here, went out today to 1 Utama. Initially was celebrating Johnny's birthday but he called me last minutes that he couldn't make it but we still go, just went for a quick lunch, movie-promethus and pick present for Johnny. That's all. Promethus was freaky and creepy as well, it'll scare you all the time. I even shouted once in the cinema, it was awkward man!! But overall, it was okay, nothing much to comment about it. Haha.

I came across someone's status on facebook and I think this is a great idea and good habit! :) You do write 3 down 3 things that you feel grateful of before you go to bed. it's easy, please don't think this is ridiculous or it's just a piece of shit. Time by time, when you look back what have you written down, you'll increase your happiness and always appreciate what you have. Don't you think this is a brilliant idea? :) You'll sure enjoying the process of accumulating them everyday.

Oh ya, I'm working out on the promise I've made, read news frequently! So, here to share with you some articles which I found they're interesting! :)

Do you ever thought about the nature of forgetting things of yours will affect your future? This is what common parents did, they always forget about their child and they'll be left behind without any noticing. HAHA!! Even UK prime minister, David Cameron left his child somewhere. So please, daddy and mummy, look after your child before they got their own mobile phone! haha. you know what i mean.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-18394690

Another article is about "Truth is, we all lie" This is extremely interesting! Now, I admit I actually lying everyday. LOL!! I mean the minor lie, not the big one okay, bear in mind. Haha. But still, I hope to find out more about this. Which nerves or cells or whatever make us lie, like just automatically. Haha. :) Read this out!
http://www.rappler.com/life-and-style/6082-yes,-we-all-lie-here-s-why

That's all for today people, thank you for reading as always if you do :)

*guys are never stop lying, this is true. I truly believe.

Love,Sarah♥

May,foundation ends

Hello there, how you doing? May 30 is my last day of my foundation program, something regret and hilarious happened, some of you might know, some of you may not. By the way, I'm not going to tell here. It's a shame on me.

Something in me is not complete, I will not only tell you until August. Stay tuned then. I have not much plan on my summer break, initially, was planning to get an internship but companies don't recruit foundation students, so ya. But, to think back now, I have too many stuffs to do, not too say too many, is many. Piano exam on July, got to practise seriously hard, I'm not gonna fail this exam, twice a week of ballet class as usual, going to travel with friends to Kota Kinabalu (have to train up my stamina and learn how to breathe properly).

Actually, I would like to find a job but I'm just afraid that I would sacrifice so many things. My dad doesn't allow me to find some improper job such as sales girl or some works that I wouldn't learn much. So, this summer will be a boring break for me. Anyway, will find something to equip myself, oh ya, nowadays I am pushed to read news everyday since I don't read news. haha. Somehow, I will read some articles and news everyday, gotta push myself. I will share with you guys when I do blogging ya. :)

On wednesday, 30th May 2012, I was packing all the stuffs in the hotel in order to check out on time and lighten my burden. There were too many stuffs and I didn't know what to pack first and where to starts but my friend told me to packed clothes first, hmm.. what a great idea then I succeed to pack everything in an hour? It was so sad to leave my one-year-so-called-nest. I will not forget everything there,all the memories and the settings.

so this is how my table looks like for a year,a bit messy.

the rack

these were not the hard part I mentioned, it was my cupboard, full of unnecessary stuffs and clothes but I didn't get to take any picture of it.haha. *just leave it.

I guess that's all for this post but glad that God gave me experience that I craved for and should have experience it. After that incident, finally, I knew who is good and fake. Thank you people :) I was so touched that I have friends who are still care about me. Don't worry, I have already been instilled with positive bond! :)

Things happen for some reasons

Light. Love. Life

Love,Sarah ♥

Are you worthy?

Since I've been studying in University for almost a year. I realized a lot of stuffs, I gained a lot, I learned much but i know it never enough. What I want to say is, the crucial part i found out in University is "What's your value?" Are you worth enough to let me stick to you? Are you smart enough to answer my question?

Unfortunately, it's true when I found out around me. Do you even ask those people who has lower result than you and answer your doubt in academic? You wouldn't, am I right?  You would just ask people who are smart enough to answer your questions. Wouldn't you? Unfortunately, I do that as well. I'm not trying to generalize everyone into this category, I apologize if you feel insulted.

You can see this situation much clearly during revision and exam period. Smart people will surrounded by questions which asked by friends. However, those people who are not that smart would just study alone or even you know how the question works, nobody would ask you how.

Indeed, people always determine you based on your result, But I always believe that got an excellent outcome doesn't mean you'll have a bright future or you don't if got a bad one. I admire one of my lecturer who's from Italy, she said that she doesn't believe in exam because you wouldn't know are you in the good condition during exam or what if your brain are not functioning well at that time?

It's always sad that see this situation around me. Let me tell you something, thank God that let me see something what i should have! Throughout the whole semester, I saw somebody who always skipped classes, don't attend any tutorials and the top 3 to exit the exam hall. I always thought that they're just lazy, they don't put any effort, they're just so wrong. But you know what, the person who supposed feel wrong is ME, one of the day, Peter and I planned to not to sleep for the sake of accounting paper. So we stayed in computer lab and did revision for the whole night. When I was about to go to toilet halfway, I passed through learning hub (another part of computer lab), I saw those students whom I described just now (often skipped the classes/ exit the exam hall) were studying hard there and it was 5am. At that moment, my assumption just gone wrong! I felt guilty but with a smile on my face because I know they might be a shinning star in the future. They are international students actually :)

Seriously, thank God. He let me learnt something, don't judge a person's achievement by it's result. if you do, you'll never right! Students who go poor result doesn't mean he/she didn't put effort on it, just maybe he/she didn't has the guts during exam?haha.just kidding.

So, will you ask yourself quietly next time when you meet someone, "Are you worthy enough?" :)

Cheers people!


Love,Sarah♥

ESCAPE

it's so cooling and relaxing sitting alone in the room, do blogging, read some articles, listening to some musics. this is how i escape myself from the real life. i always prefer the time i'm putting my mind in peace is the time without facebook.lol.

i think,to keep yourself away from reality for short period is a necessity for everyone even just for few minutes. it will definitely helps you no matter in your physicality or in mentality.

i am always wondering,how many people still reading my blog. i knew there's few but not sure how many. i'm not a professional blogger and of course i no need lots of reader. surprisingly, there's one canadian relative of mine came to me, "i've checked out your blog, i just bookmarked it actually". this kind of sentence always amaze me. i didn't know actually there's people who's reading my blog, word by word,line by line. thank you people! :)

i guess you're one of the reason why i still keep my blog alive other than blogging is fun,is niche space to spare of the mess environment out there. always appreciate! :) most of the time, to blog here really makes me feel much more better when something is keeping inside me.

there were so many times for me to think what should i do before i die. i know it sounds ridiculous but you just live once! i'll try everything in this world if i could, i didn't mean drugs or bad stuffs.haha. you know what? my mom actually allowed me to go malacca after my accounting paper next friday. this is the very first time i'm going outstation with my friends. i'm seriously exciting till wanna jump high! but somehow, i was scared when my mom just allowed me, i afraid she doesn't love me that's why she let me do whatever i want. the feeling just struck me like that without any reason,guess i'm a kid who's taught strictly since young, i can just see my friends go everywhere they want and i'm the one who always stay at home.

the elder you are, the more mixture feeling you have. you'll tend to think a lot even it's just a simple thing. my friend told me,why there's many people didn't manage to succeed in their life because they're trap in assumptions! indeed, assumptions are the things that stop you by doing what you want. they give you doubts,no action will be brought out.

my foundation program is going to end very very soon.i'll definitely miss everything in this year,i have a fruitful foundation life. especially meeting you,my fallen angel guardian. ♥ 

"He will lead you if you believe in Him. =) "


Love,Sarah ♥ 

sleep sleep sleep

it's 3.15am now and i'm not sleeping yet.guess what am i doing? i was doing my CV.lol!! this is one of the thing makes me insane.it has been few weeks time already and yet the procrastination kills me and stop me from doing that. issshhh! but somehow, my friend pushed me to finish my CV by tonight and finally i'm done! *yawn 

i'm satisfied!

it's time to say good night to the world! :) hehehe.

hormer is sleeping *shhh and should i!

sweet dream =)

Love,Sarah♥

what's next?

my finals is just right on next week, exactly left 7 days and this will be the last exam for my foundation. i started to feel scared from the starting of this week,i mean seriously. thats why i'm emo.

my life is just like in the washing machine, i'm just turning around but what's next for me? i don't know. honestly speaking, i want to stay in Malaysia for 1 more year because mentally,i'm not ready. you might ask, if you're not ready now, when are you going to be ready and you might not ready forever. literally, i'll definitely go overseas during my 2nd year and this is one of my "MUST TO DO" in my list. after i've expressed to my dad, he didn't respond much so what i can do is just W.A.I.T. thank you for prayed for me, i hope God will answer my prayer too. :)

these days, i keep thinking what should i do next and why this why that. it's true, sometimes, you don't get what you want because God has a better plan for you,i believe this. =) i do hope i'll do what i should as well as you guys too.  people nowadays are doing what they don't like and most of them don't know why they're doing this. now,i'm out of my mind. head-cracking. what to do. what's the plan. me and my friend are going to give a try on Youth Leadership Academy, i was told that there was 300++ applicants last year but only 23 are selected. it was seriously tough though! what so great about this program? it was organized by McKinsey, one of the top company in the world. they want to seek for passionate, ambitious and thoughtful youth. the duration of this program is 2 months and you'll be meeting CEOs from different company and they'll be mentoring you throughout the whole program. interested,take a look here --> Youth Leadership Academy  i'm gonna try this out, if i fail, no harm to try and i'll never regret,at least i know i tried.

i seriously want to do something for this world, i don't want to regret when i die, i want to leave legacy in my life because i believe everyone has a purpose to live in this world, like what my friend said. God don't create you for nothing, for sure there's mission for you to complete, you'll just need to find out yourself.

oh ya, something i came across this afternoon, my friend shared and i found it interesting and it's so true!! :) check this out!
http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2012/04/stop_documenting_start_experienc.html#.T6JPj9tRljc.facebook

sometimes, the more i think, the more i feel suffer. stop thinking then and i should stop writing now.
all the best to whom going to have finals! :)

Love,Sarah ♥

Are you ready for the next battle?

so sorry for the disappearing myself from this blog. i apologize. nowadays, i thought a lot, in terms of future, relationship, family, friends, internships. i got to equip myself with knowledge to be more mature, more globalization. there are some reasons for me who didn't update my blog for long time. i've been very busy with my studies, sometimes just able to online at night, coursework (not really), some talks. apparently, human starts to compare which is better and worse.you've seen the best so you'll have high expectation on certain thing. this is not the main thing i wanna say. haha.

anyway, i have a lot to update with you guys. have you ever thought that you're not lucky enough? why people got what he/she wants but not you. there's actually some reason to happen that, you'll never know.only God knows...have you thought that why you never get the result you want? lets think like this, if you got your expected result initially, would you work hard for the next time, would you strive the same effort for the next coming test? the answer is, YOU WON'T. don't blame why you're not lucky enough, it's just that God is preparing you for the next battle. after you failed, you'll obviously gain a lot more than those people who success just like that.

another thing is, are you stand strong enough for your dream? for me,i'm doing right now. i start to think i dance because i want to fulfill the dream of people who are not able to dance, who have no chance to dance, who cannot dance. i have given the chance to dance,why not dance perfectly? everytime i dance, i just think about them. i believe there's so many people want to dance but there's some reason that stopped them by dancing or stopped them by doing what they want.

"Have a deeper purpose; it makes the difference between what is average and what is great."

when i'm living with my dream, i never feel tired when doing what i should do. :)

nowadays, i'm going through a lot. got UPs and DOWNs, like seriously. start to feel that the journey of like is not easy. but don't worry,i always will stay strong. i'm glad that i've been surrounding with friends who are keep giving me positive energy. :) they always stand by my side,telling me keep going. even though there are so many friends in and out, i don't mind. i just want those who are real,stay. that's easy.

sometimes,i break down easily but i pick myself up too!  of course,there's someone who always stay with me when i'm shining or even i'm in recovering from emo. now,i not allow myself to fall too long, i definitely can fall, but don't stay in the dark too long.

i always feel thankful towards someone :) you know who you are.

i'm having my ballet exam next thursday, honestly, i don't really feel the stress. but who knows, on that day itself. haha.i'll do my best to make the examiner cry for my performance.lol! *that's too much!

i got chubby hand and feet :P

don't aspect people to be who you want him/her to be. you and him/her will never feel good. :)
i am people-oriented, i have my own working style, so what? you cannot judge me but you might allowed to criticize on what i've done wrongly :)

Love,Sarah♥

STRESS,please leave me alone!! :(

sometimes,it's just so lonely to overcome all the problems.you can just keep all the stress to yourself,you can just cry silently by not letting others know you're crying, you can just ask for help when you really can't accomplish. when everything is attacking you, pushing you, you can just keep off the thing alone. sometimes,i really feel like i don't want to care anything,just leave it there forever. i really feel tired, i'm exhausted,i'm weak. the motivation is getting lower and lower, the environment doesn't give me aggregate support.

As usual, things don't progress like what you think, don't flow like what you want it to be. there's always changes. changes all the time. i acknowledge i'm a person who can adapt the new environment but not in this kind of situation. i planned properly, planned nicely but they just don't follow you. having said that,i'm fail OCP. couldn't get people's attention, couldn't gather everyone's power, didn't utilize everyone's ability.

fortunately,there's someone who always by my side but i never cry infront of him. no need to. thanks for concerning me a lot. thank God. i always seek for 2 person to talk, one is him, another on is God.

i really hope i could run away from problems but i know it's not a responsible action,isn't it? i would like to stop my breathe for few seconds before i want everything pause for a little while so that my mind can go blank for in a tick.

it's enough to complain here and it's too much to complain if i have to. so sarah,stop complaining or expressing yourself. get back to solution!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE YOU SARAH, you're dumb and fail

*i just need a simple support  for people :(



Love,Sarah

i'm born to be actress

hey ya!! :) i'm here to update. actually i have nothing much to say,just keep update my blog in order to keep my blog alive and keep you closer to me.lol.

i thought about i wanna be an actress when i was young, appear in TV,say Hi to everyone, be famous, people know me and will get my signature.hahaha...what a dream! nah,it will never happen but i love acting :) i would join drama club if there's :) til now,i'm 19.i wanna perform in big stage,international stage no matter in acting or dancing,i would love to give it a try :) it's still a dream for me. hehe. from my point of view, always give the best of you on stage, you'll never know who'll fall in love with your performance. eventhough there's only one audience, you must perform the best too.

sometimes,acting is one of the best way to express your inner part. i couldn't say it's the best way because there's much more way :) nah, be an audience must also understand and feel how the actress/actor feel. never ever think it's easy but of course not everyone can act well.haha...

i acknowledge that i have vast facial expression.haha... *so narcissism

please say i'm eligible to be actress.LOL!!! *shi ming,ENOUGH ENOUGH!

anyway,i just love to act! haha. i would like to take acting as my hobby if it's possible :)


Love,Sarah♥

random swing

hey guys, how's your weekend going on? come on,let me update some random post since i'm free and nothing can do right now.haha. *sounds gangster,huh? there's too much long post on my bloggie,haha.sorry about that guys. :)  i just wanna tell you guys what i'm been doing these few weeks. i eat,i sleep,i surf internet,i watch TV,i play piano,i dance,i visit houses.that's all! hahaha..what a dull life i have. yea,i'm a bit of lifeless now but luckily there's something for me to do, that is planning the whole AIESEC Global Experience fair, it was quite tough for me actually because i don't know where to start,i just start where i want. LOL!! a president who is bad in planning is here. S.O.S. *raise up hand. but yea,still in the learning progress,glad that i have a mentor with me :) hehe.not to mention the person.

there's so many obstacles for me to be a organizing committee president and i couldn't imagine how the local committee present works and even the AIESEC International president works? i'm quite curious. i know that at my stage, i'm nothing compared to them. haha. because their jobs are harder than me and more challenging! *salute  anyway,i just hope that the whole process and the result will do well :) *pray hard

actually,i just got back from the buffet which organized by my house residents committee. they'll have some kind of buffet when there's some special festival such as deepavali,hari raya or chinese new year. so this year never left out. :) through this party,what i can see is everyone has very good collaboration, everyone is very friendly towards each other. oh ya,not to mention the awkward moment happened just now,it was a malay was wearing samfu (chinese traditional costume for male) and we,as the chinese, didn't wear any chinese traditional costume. haha...

it's so funny that suddenly my neighbour asked me some question "did you dress up,like make up now?" i was so blur when he asked me because since when i do make up? "i don't even know how to hold the make up pen properly" i told him. haha.it's hilarious,right? oh ya,just to tell you that,i was wearing a shirt and jeans,nothing much. he said i changed a lot so i kept wondering,did i? somebody please tell me,did i? haha.

particular person knows particular sign ♥

*i might not be the person who can make you laugh but i'm willing to be the person who you can talk with when you're down :)


Love.Sarah♥